The Juice Box

So many events for Up Your Alley Weekend in San Francisco, and just not enough reviewers to go around. I would love to hear from the folks who hit Blowoff to see how that went, and thankfully on top of Bay of Pigs we have a review for Blowoff and PLAY. So, read on to hear about the fun and hi-jinx of Up Your Alley Weekend in San Francisco.

BAY OF PIGS

Rating: 3 out of 5 Bottles of Water

by Jim Hauck

Bay of Pigs returned for another installment of Up Your Alley fun this year. As this party has started to take form, it has moved around a bit. My first time to attend was the one at the Cat Club on Folsom a couple years ago, where the flow was challenging, but the use of three floors created interest. The next year was at York Studios, where the space was huge and cavernous, and the music was not very inspirational. This year Bay Of Pigs went to Suite 181, which until recently, was the home of the weekly Wunderland party.

Other reviews of the space have spoken about the fact that is seems backwards in set up. The main dance floor, while decent in size, lacks true definition, is often sticky, and is upstairs where the ceilings are lower. The secondary dance floor is on the main level, surrounded by a raised platform, and except for the missing lighting, has higher ceilings, which in this reviewers opinion, make it the more appropriate main dance space.

Overall, the space did not seem tricked out for Bay of Pigs, it seemed like another night at Suite 181, with an added sling or two here and there. The lower level, which they called the Dungeon, had a black scrim hung along the raised areas to create a sexy, somewhat removed place for all sorts of things to happen and was the location of the indoor play spaces. Additionally, significant effort was put into decorating the outdoor patio, which was covered with a large piece of black scrim to protect the views of the space with some camouflage netting also set up, and a variety of play and demonstration areas. Overall, this was the space that seemed to have the most theme placement for bay of pigs, and sadly with the cool night, it was not until later when it got warm enough inside that folks ventured out to the “Pig Pen” to have some fun. The one thing I will say about Suite 181 – bring your walking shoes – you have to take a hike around this place to find all of the nooks and crannies and just running up and down the 3 different sets of stairs must be a challenge for the staff of the event.

Musically, I was excited that DJ Ted Eiel was in town from Chicago to play in the main room. The evening started off with a great selection of vocals and groovy beats, and then seemed to slip into a darker, chunkier, set of music, feeling out special mixes of the style you would expect from Able or Rosario, with a few great vocal mixes including a fun Lily Allen mix of “Fuck You” that made you want to giggle just a little and flip off your friends in fun. Overall the music was fitting to what the promoters want for a sexier party like Bay of Pigs. The men grabbed onto the dance floor and really enjoyed themselves, bumping and grinding the night away. Downstairs, DJ Luis Cintron was playing a dark deep set of music made fitting for the play and demonstration spaces as he strut his stuff around the DJ booth.

With several other events like Blowoff and Bearracuda happening at the same time, the crowd was slow to arrive, but by midnight the main floor was full, and folks were enjoying Ted’s musical journey and each other. The dungeon dance space never seemed to fill up at all, with the exception of the play platform which at times became a choke point (no pun intended). The crowd was dressed to impress in all ranges of gear, and lots of skin, and through the night it got to be more and more skin, and in some cases maybe a little too much skin.

Overall, a decent party. It was a good chance to socialize and hang with good friends, both old and new, and catch up with folks from out of town who made it up to SF for a little Up Your Alley fun. However, this reviewer did not feel that the party drove to the full potential it could go to, maybe because of the space, maybe because of the competition. It seems that there is still room to grow and improve what has become a new Up Your Alley Weekend tradition, giving us a great reason to go out dancing on Up Your Alley Weekend and a wonderful reason for the boys to come in from out of town and join San Francisco in a great fetish weekend.

PLAY T-DANCE – PRISON BREAK

Rating: 4 out of 5 Bottles of Water

by Ray Chalom

The evolution of circuit parties over the years defies Darwin’s theory of evolution. Rather than progressing into something superior, they have settled into mediocracy at best. In their heyday they were all about creating an environment through a theme, the music and the crowd. They were a true production. These days they are all about turning a profit which means they are barebones at best. PLAY however, is a rare exception. The production company that produces PLAY, painstakingly went out of their way to create a theme that carried itself through the space, the crowd, the performance & the music.

DNA Lounge is one of my favorite spots in San Francisco. The flow of the club is great with the main room flanked by aisles on either side of the dance floor, a stage straight ahead and a bar in the front. Two staircases leading up either side of the dance floor lead to a wrap-around balcony looking straight down onto the dance floor. There are also great lounge spaces upstairs to relax including a quiet room replete with massage therapists. The prison bars and lighting did a great job of putting the crowd in the proper mindset that this party was a little dirtier than your usual t-dance. I especially liked the black lights and signs posted all around the dance floor with charming “hidden” messages like “PIG BOTTOM”. And who can complain about a table filled with fruit, candy and gum. Such a wonderful little extra you just don’t see anymore but much appreciated by sugar fiends like myself.

Rob Kaftan did a fantastic job last night. It wasn’t your typical t-dance pop anthem vocals as was expected. Rather, it was some great uplifting beats with a few twists thrown in that kept the crowd going from 5 – midnight. I appreciate that Rob paid attention to what the crowd was enjoying and provided a break when he knew our poor legs were being worn out to the point of exhaustion. He also seemed to know that to me it isn’t a t-dance sans a few songs to scream along to – so thank you for Kelly Clarkson/Rowland, Madonna and Beyonce.

What I didn’t like was the lighting. If anyone who does lighting for a living is reading this please pay attention. Inevitably at a homosexual dance party there might be a handful of paying attendees who just don’t look right. They are smiley, sweaty and very emotional. What they are not, is appreciative of strobe lights flashing in their eyes for extended periods of time giving them a feeling of having an epileptic attack. If it happens once I would suck it up. When it happens enough times to the point of needing to close your eyes for extended periods of time or leave the dance floor it’s a problem. Last night it was a problem.

It is well known that at the end of a party weekend the crowd is so tired and worn out, all walls come down and the attitude drops. Last night was no exception. Now marry the warm fuzzy feeling coming from the love that everyone had to give along with the fact the club was packed with enough eye candy to make my head spin around like Linda Blair and I would sum up the crowd in one word – HOT. Well, I’m gonna add a “t” for posterity – HOTT! I would also like to call out how great of a job the volunteers and the staff did last night. From the moment you walked in the door you were made to feel special with a warm greeting and a smile from everyone who was there to make your experience more enjoyable.

Generally speaking I am NOT a fan of performances that stop the music and force the crowd to stop what they are doing. A few years back Cheer SF was unfortunately allowed to perform, talk about a buzz kill at a circuit party. Last night’s performance was perfectly done. It blended in perfectly with the music, provided us with something that made us smile, made our pants tingle…and highlighted one of my favorite people on the San Francisco scene – Suzan Revah. I also liked the “policemen” walking around the club with their big sticks and menacing faces.

PLAY reminded me of parties I used to go to when I was younger. It was a production that reeked of forethought and pre-planning. Countless parties are thrown throughout the year in spaces that are dirty (sticky floors), no decorations and no added extras. It’s nice to know that there are production companies out there that still want to throw a production and step out of what has become the cookie cutter party that happens week after week.

Blowoff

Rating: 3 out of 5 Bottles of Water

by Donnovan Whitehurst

Washington DC-based DJs Bob Mould and Rich Morel brought their popular traveling dance Blowoff back into San Francisco this past weekend, providing another alternative for the dancing crowd out enjoying their Dore Alley weekend. And as much as I hate to use the word alternative, when it comes to Blowoff, the word absolutely applies. The venue Blowoff is always held at (Slim’s) is traditionally used to see live bands play, and is not equipped for fog or spectacular light shows traditionally seen in nightclubs.

Being a longtime fan of both standard four on the floor dance music and “indie” or “alternative” bands (meaning “non-pop”), for me, the music selection is really the focal point for Blowoff. While there are songs that may be familiar to you if you follow some of the fringes of what electronic and dance music has to offer right now (aside from the standard diva-driven club set), Bob and Rich bring along a set of tunes that will get you out on the dance floor, as well as surprise you at times with their sexy, at times rock-edged selection. The crowd seemed to take its’ time getting themselves out onto the floor Saturday night, but after an hour (we got there at 10 sharp, since it’s only a four hour event), the crowd was dancing and enjoying both men’s sets. A particular highlight was a remix of La Roux’s “Bulletproof” bringing the crowd to throw their hands in the air, while visuals (provided by Nick Lopata, Morel’s partner) of a vintage animated Clark Kent ripped off his clothes and became Superman on screen.

People often ask me why I will always choose Blowoff over any other dance going on on the same night, and the answer I always give is to attend one and see what it’s like! The only real drawback of the evening was with the competition from the other events, Blowoff seemed to take the most hits as far as the overall size of the crowd, which never quite filled up to the sweaty frenzy their other shows have brought to San Francisco. Still, the guys delivered another sexy and highly danceable alternative.

***

Note the introduction of the 5 BOTTLE HALL OF FAME page to the site. This page presents those parties and the reviews for those parties which captured the 5 Bottles of Water Rating.